It’s lonely being a twin mum

Heyyyyyy guys hope you are all well. So first of all being a mum is one of them most rewarding and beautiful thing that can happen to a woman, carrying a human being and giving birth to it is the biggest blessing we woman can ever have. Being a mum can be a lonely time especially in the first year when they are still little. When you first have your baby everyone is visiting you, helping and wanting to carry that tiny, precious human but as time goes by people don’t come round or call as much to check on you, especially if you have friends who don’t have kids yet.

When i had my first born i was leaving in a place where i did not know anyone so i was really lonely and i kept myself indoors most of the time till hubby came home and we would go out for a walk or something.  For my second pregnancy we had moved near my family so i had support but i also did not want to feel like burden for them so i decided to try the mother and baby play groups to try and make some new friends as we were still new to this area and boy i was wrong. I felt so alienated that i only managed to go a few times and never went back. When i first walked in i got the smirky smiles from some mums and that’s was it so i found a spot and got some toys for my boy to play with and we were not even their for a an hour and i just wanted to leave. It felt like i was back in secondary school where everyone had their own gang of friends and nobody wanted to know me or be my friend.

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I actually tried another group and it was the same and having spoken to some of my friends i found out it wasn’t just me who experienced this kind of behavior. I really don’t know why  we women feel the need to put down another woman to feel good about ourselves especially when your a new mum it’s a trying time and need all the help and mum friends you can find.

Since i had the twins i decided i would not go to the mum baby groups because of the experience i had and also because i have 2 babies to watch which will be difficult and over whelming. For example if i wanted to take them to a massage class i would not be able to do it as i only have two hands ans what if they both started crying then everyone would be staring at me. The only time i went to any mum group was when i first went to take the twins to be weighed, i only went a few times and most of the time they cried because they did not want to be naked or cold bless em but there was a health visitor who would take one while i sorted one and she has become a goof friend of mine and because she know the struggle i have with getting them weighed she comes to my house to this day to weigh them which am so grateful for.

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I will forever by grateful for these twin babies but it doesn’t mean it’s not difficult. When i go to pick my son from school with them ( this is somewhat the only times i take them out by myself) i get anxious and scared thinking they might both start crying and i won’t be able to cope, sometimes people just stare which used to bother me but i know they are just in awe of me having two babies. I used to talk to my friends at the school gate for about 20 minutes or so but i don’t really do this anymore, i just drop my son off and am back home till pick up. I have actually tried to find twin baby groups in my area but there seems to not be any which is not nice.

I know this time when they are little goes by so fast and am taking it in as much as i can but i wish i knew some twin mums that i can hang out with and not have to be stuck indoors all the time.

Are you a twin or multiple mum?  how did you meet other twin mums?

Love Me x

The difficulties you face having multiple babies

As you all know or may not know am a twin mama(shout out to all twin mamas out there) to two fratenal twins who came as a surprise and shock. When we found out we were having twins I literally cried and to this day I don’t know why I was crying I just cried lol, from this moment onwards I started seeing consultants, midwives and nurses every 2 weeks.

My first consultant appointment was full of what can go wrong (pre-eclampsia, twin to twin transfusion, high blood pressure, diabetes etc) and nothing good was said which got me quite worried and anxious.

At one point I was told that one of the twins had a 20% chance they were going to have Downs syndrome( there are tests they can do to confirm and one of them includes them putting a needles in your belly and extracting fluid from your womb but it can cause a miscarriage so we choose to let God handle it and what will be will be but they were both healthy without it, thank God) but this stuck at the back of my mind for the whole pregnancy and even though I decided to not worry about it and enjoy my pregnancy it was still there nagging at me.

When they were born at 35+4 days weighing 4lbs and 5lbs they went straight to NICU. Bella was 5lbs and needed help breathing and Uriyah was the same though for him there were more complications from not feeding to infection, but they are both doing fine and healthy.

Before they were born I was ready to do routines as I have two older ones who need to be taken care of too. Once hubby was back to work it was just me and the twins but I had tried to do things myself as I knew I was going to have to soon or later.

The first hurdle was feeding and since I had done some research while pregnant I had a few ideas how to feed them and I used and still use pillows and cushions to feed them and I have a V pillow which I use in the car. At one point I felt guilty as I was not getting that one to one time with each of them as they wake up at the same time but when hubby is home we each take one to feed so its ok.

Then the task of going out now am not gonna lie, I don’t go out for long periods of time by myself with them as am too scared if they both start crying or need feeding what would I do? But during school runs we all go together drop the two at school without leaving the car ( they are old enough to walk themselves into school) and then I go back home. That’s what I love about the other two’s age range all I have to do is get them to the school and they go in and out of school and walk to the car themselves and if the school was close they would walk there. What I miss is the catch up chats at the school gate with my mum friends which we used to do everyday but now they are abit older I sometimes do take the pram out and go for a little catch up with them.

Onto cleaning my house, I do this while they take their morning nap. I am so lucky that all my kids do not mind the vacuum noise so I am able to clean without them waking up though ay one point I had to move them from one room to another as I was cleaning because they refused to sleep and I can’t stand a dirty house so we moved together from room to room lol.

Being a twin mum is a blessing and a miracle because we humans are not meant to carry more that one baby at a time but our bodies are amazing and we are able to do this.

To all those twin and multiple mums it’s hard work and it will be difficult at first but take it slow and at your pace, do not go by anyone else’s because you will set yourself up to fail. Always try and get out atleast once a week as being couped up in the house is not good for you or the babies.

Join some facebook twin groups I am part of one and its trully a God sent because if you have any issues or want to have a moan you can do it on there without judgement at all, they all have been through it so they understand your position. When I was told about the Downs syndrome scare I went on there for advice and they was alot of helpful advice which helped me calm down and not worry so much.

I hope this help you out and my inbox is here if you need to talk or whatever.

Love Me x

BABY WRAP

(NOT SPONSORED)

For both my eldest children I have always used the “traditional” baby carrier which am sure every one knows, if you don’t know this is a carrier you wear on your chest which you put the baby in securely and so your able to have your hand free to do whatever you want.

I have only used these carriers because they are the ones I was used to and was familiar with.

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Now with the twins I wanted something different from the norm and for a few years I seen the baby wrap being used by a lot of people. Now am gonna lie, at first I though how can you carry a baby in that flimsy looking cloth? it did not look safe to me or strong compared to the ones I had used before and the fact that it was used from the front just made me feel quite uncomfortable and scared for the babies I saw being carried in them.

I know in a lot of if not all African countries many mothers carry their babies on the back using a large clothes to secure them tightly and they are able to literally do everything with their baby tied to their back. From gardening, to planting crops, to washing clothes, to fetching water etc they do it all and I take my hat off for them because I don’t think I could what they do.

So after seeing so many women using this flimsy cloth as I called it ( its not actually flimsy its very strong) I decided to give it a go though my partner decided to stick to the traditional one.

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The instructions that came with it did not make sense yet the pictures kinda did so instead of making mistakes I went to my trusted source YouTube and I was able to learn how to tie which was very easy though I thought it would be hard. I can take you I AM IN LOVE with this cloth! It is so soft, I love the grey colour am loving gray right now, its stretchy so the baby can sit securely in there and its also thin enough to use in summer so you wont get hot using it.

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I literally carried my son for almost an hour and a half and my back did not hurt, I was not hot and sweaty as it was hot that day, he was not uncomfortable, he was able to look around and also the closeness with him and me was so lovely and beautiful. I am definitely going to continue using it for as long as I can and need it and I will see how it works and manages when my boy is a little bit bigger.

Have you ever used this baby wrap? if so what did you think about it? did you love it or hate it? let me know in the comment section below.

Love Me x

“THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS SUPERMOM. WE JUST DO THE BEST WE CAN”. What I have learnt since becoming a mother of 4.

So I am a mother of 4! wow! that’s something am still getting my head around, there are days when it hits me and I just look at my children and just feel amazed and blessed that I was able to have four beautiful, healthy babies.

Its been three months since I had the twins and during that time I have come to learn a few things about having four children.

NOISE

Being in my house now days with my whole broad can be quite noisy. My first born is not too bad as she’s at the age where she is becoming independent (she’s 11) and she’s able to do quite a lot of things herself,  My second born is forever calling mummy (his 8) and now days he keeps saying he wished he would go back in my belly so his a baby and I can carry him lol. I love the age they are at as they are able to entertain themselves and they don’t need much adult supervision. Now there are times when the twins are crying and Faith and Jerome are feeling like being noisy and everyone is talking, the voices raise,it really sounds like a big group of people in a room yet in reality its 4 small people.

Some how I have learnt and adapted to having a noisy house and I have learnt to tune them out. Someone might ask how do you cope with that much commotion around you and its quite simple,as long as they are not fighting, its ok. For a little bit.

HELP

Having children who are aged 11 and 8 is such a blessing when you have 2 twin babies. I kept thinking how am I going to be able to do things with two small babies? what if they both start crying? how do I feed two babies at the same time? so much was going through my head but again I adapted and I am able to do all these things and more by myself if I have to. The good thing is when the kids are home I am able to tell them to watch the babies for me, carry them when they cry or even feed them so I can get on with other things. This is when I know God knew what he was doing when he blessed us with the twins.

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ITS NOT HARD 

When I found out we were having twins I think I panicked inside, no one knew I was able to keep it to myself. All I kept thinking is how am I going to be able to do school runs, cook dinner, clean my house, get out of the house, get downstairs as we live in a 2 storey flat with no lift, get the pram downstairs ( this takes a group effort)……… I really  was worried and didn’t think I would be able to cope with everything but somehow everything slot into place.

I have been back to school runs for about two months now and we have a good routine in place and no one is late for school or work, I am able to carry the twins in their car seats to the car though it can be tricky at times as the corridors are a bit narrow. The pram situation is still the same as some one still needs to stay with the babies as I take the pram down so I only do that when the kids or my partner are home.

I am a pro at setting up the pram too which looked so huge when we first got it but now it looks kinda small lol.

PEOPLE WILL STARE

This is one thing that getting used to slowly. When we are out we get a lot of looks or the twins and their pram get a lot of looks, sometimes people actually stop us to have a look and a chat which is nice when your not in a rush, others just stare which actually gets on my nerves, others want to touch them and have a cuddle which I find uncomfortable and I don’t like it ( hence why I leave the hood on), others give you a little smile.

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I know its a miracle and an amazing thing to have twins and I get why people are stunned by them and we count our blessings that they are healthy and striving but one thing that I feel I need to be smart mouthed about is when people come up to us and say things like double trouble, unlucky you! ( the unlucky comment wasn’t to me but a friend), why would some one feel the right to tell a mother that? people sometimes speak without thinking how it will sound or make the other person feel.

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With all the above I would not change anything about my family situation, we are put in situations knowing we can handle them and we do. We just have to get over the inital shock and get on with it and before you know it you begin to wonder what the worry and fuss was about.

 

Love Me x