motherhood

WHAT WE MOTHERS EXPECT ON MOTHER’S DAY VS WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS

| forevermabss

Being a mum is one of those life roles which your never really taught how to be or be ready for, you just quite frankly wing it everyday and you hope that everything goes well and you don’t lose your mind in the process lol.

When i become a mum i thought “ok i have this little human that i have to think for, keep alive and educate about life, how hard could it be” and boy was i wrong lol.

I was not ready for the amount of stuff babies need!, the sleepless nights ( which i didn’t mind in the beginning as they are just soooo cute and cuddly), the constant worry when they are ill ( i legit stayed away for a few days when they got their first cold as i thought they would not be able to breath), the tantrums in public oh how i wished the floor would open up and swallow me coz the way people look at you like your the worst parent ever.

Carrying and bringing a human being into the world is the most amazing, scariest, nerve racking thing i have ever done in my life but also being a mum is the most fulfilling thing i have ever done in my life.

My first mother’s day i did not know what to expect so i just went with the flow. My hubby bought me a card, a teddy bear (which i still have) and some chocolates which was lovely. As the years have gone on, my babies give me cards which they have made at school but the husband forgets about it half of the time.

So in the perfect world i would love to have a lay in, have breakfast brought to me in bed, have the house to myself and just relax for the day. The reality is that i don’t have a lay in i normally wake up as normal to sort the kids breakfast and if hubby remembers the day then he will make us breakfast and then that’s mother’s day for me.

Though not alot goes on for me on mother’s day i am grateful that i got a chance to be a mum to 4 beautiful, healthy babies and i have a husband who love me and my babies. It’s not always about presents ( though they are nice lol) but more of time spent together. So on that note happy Mother’s day to all you fabulous mamas and enjoy your day.

What do you get up to on mother’s day? How do you other halves celebrate you?

Love Me x

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HOW TO ROCK EFFORDLESSLY AT BEING A MUM OF TWINS

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They will cry at the same time or take turns lol

So I dont know if this is with all twins or just mine but my two LITERALLY take turns crying if not together. One will cry while the other is calm looking around enjoying the scenery lol once they are finished the other starts off too and before you know they are both crying or taking turns.

When they were smaller I would carry them both and soothe them but now they are abit bigger and heavier it can be difficult to do this but what I have found helps me is as long as they are feed and pamper is clean I put them on their bellies and they tend to calm down because they love being on their tummies and they sleep on them too.

They might want to feed at the same time

For this one i have heard some wake up different times but mine since they were born they have woken up the same time if not just minutes apart. I think because they feed at the same time they end up getting hungry at the same time and its a routine now for them to wake up at the same time but I Have quite a few ways of feeding them and the most popular one is the pillow method which i find the easiest but you have to find what works for you.

You might survive on snacks

In the early day before I mastered multitasking with twins (still learning) I survived on snickers and toffee lattes! (Home made obviously coz I for one dont have that money to buy the amount of lattes I was drinking).

So in the morning I would just take a latte with me for school runs by the time I got back I had to put them down for a nap which would take me a while as I had to soothe them and feed them again so by the time I was done with that I had to sort dinner before picking the kids from school and hubby from work so I really did not have time to make anything to eat and so snickers did the job.

This was not good at all but my advice is to make something the night before even a quick sandwich and pop it in the fridge that would be better than what i was chomping on lol and dont forget their is Mcdonalds drive-thru 👌 I use that too so if all fails just go down good old Mcds.

You will learn to apply makeup in less than 10 minutes

I have always been a minimal makeup kinda of girl and I could do my makeup in about half and hour to 45 mins only because I would be dancing around, singing you know the usual things we girls do but now I dont have the luxury to do that 😩 so my make up literally take’s me 10 mins top to do and just about a handful of products.

If you know how to do your makeup well you will be able to down the time it take you to do it but if you dont you just have to practice and as you get your routine in place so you will with your makeup time.

Make time for you!

This is very important, you have to make time for YOU! you really have to even though its 10 mins away from those beautiful babies it will keep you sain and give you and you mind a break. Its very easy to just go go go because there is so much to do and so little time but you cant run on 100 24/7 because soon or later you will crash.

Taking a walk outside by yourself will do u a whole lot of goodness, going gym if thats what you want to do, go out with friends for a coffee….. anything as long as its baby free is good.

Its hard especially with two babies because you sometimes can’t catch a break and because its so full on but use those family and friends they are all there for you, dont be afraid to ask for help or be too proud or ashamed thinking they will think you are weak anyone who thinks that is obviously never been around babies or children and definitely should not be around your babies.

And last but not least, your not alone

Always remember there are lots of support groups that are there to help you, talk to your midwife or health visitor if things are getting too much for you don’t suffer in silence because being a mum to one is hard so imagine having two it will be hard at first but you will get into your own routine and you will be a master at running the show in no time.

Also when I was pregnant I found this twins group on Facebook which helped me massively with how I was feeling because they were either going through it or been through it and upto now if i have an issue or question any time day or night someone is always there to replay to my message or post because majority of times we are up feeding the babies lol. Just go on Facebook and type twin mum groups and they will come up.

I hope this post helped someone and feel free to message me with any questions or if you just want to have a chat twin mums or singletons all welcome.

How did you feel you coped when you first had your baby or babies?

What tips and tricks did you use?

Did you have enough help?

Let me know in the commnet section below

Love Me x

BABY WRAP

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(NOT SPONSORED)

For both my eldest children I have always used the “traditional” baby carrier which am sure every one knows, if you don’t know this is a carrier you wear on your chest which you put the baby in securely and so your able to have your hand free to do whatever you want.

I have only used these carriers because they are the ones I was used to and was familiar with.

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Now with the twins I wanted something different from the norm and for a few years I seen the baby wrap being used by a lot of people. Now am gonna lie, at first I though how can you carry a baby in that flimsy looking cloth? it did not look safe to me or strong compared to the ones I had used before and the fact that it was used from the front just made me feel quite uncomfortable and scared for the babies I saw being carried in them.

I know in a lot of if not all African countries many mothers carry their babies on the back using a large clothes to secure them tightly and they are able to literally do everything with their baby tied to their back. From gardening, to planting crops, to washing clothes, to fetching water etc they do it all and I take my hat off for them because I don’t think I could what they do.

So after seeing so many women using this flimsy cloth as I called it ( its not actually flimsy its very strong) I decided to give it a go though my partner decided to stick to the traditional one.

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The instructions that came with it did not make sense yet the pictures kinda did so instead of making mistakes I went to my trusted source YouTube and I was able to learn how to tie which was very easy though I thought it would be hard. I can take you I AM IN LOVE with this cloth! It is so soft, I love the grey colour am loving gray right now, its stretchy so the baby can sit securely in there and its also thin enough to use in summer so you wont get hot using it.

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I literally carried my son for almost an hour and a half and my back did not hurt, I was not hot and sweaty as it was hot that day, he was not uncomfortable, he was able to look around and also the closeness with him and me was so lovely and beautiful. I am definitely going to continue using it for as long as I can and need it and I will see how it works and manages when my boy is a little bit bigger.

Have you ever used this baby wrap? if so what did you think about it? did you love it or hate it? let me know in the comment section below.

Love Me x

“THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS SUPERMOM. WE JUST DO THE BEST WE CAN”. What I have learnt since becoming a mother of 4.

| forevermabss

So I am a mother of 4! wow! that’s something am still getting my head around, there are days when it hits me and I just look at my children and just feel amazed and blessed that I was able to have four beautiful, healthy babies.

Its been three months since I had the twins and during that time I have come to learn a few things about having four children.

NOISE

Being in my house now days with my whole broad can be quite noisy. My first born is not too bad as she’s at the age where she is becoming independent (she’s 11) and she’s able to do quite a lot of things herself,  My second born is forever calling mummy (his 8) and now days he keeps saying he wished he would go back in my belly so his a baby and I can carry him lol. I love the age they are at as they are able to entertain themselves and they don’t need much adult supervision. Now there are times when the twins are crying and Faith and Jerome are feeling like being noisy and everyone is talking, the voices raise,it really sounds like a big group of people in a room yet in reality its 4 small people.

Some how I have learnt and adapted to having a noisy house and I have learnt to tune them out. Someone might ask how do you cope with that much commotion around you and its quite simple,as long as they are not fighting, its ok. For a little bit.

HELP

Having children who are aged 11 and 8 is such a blessing when you have 2 twin babies. I kept thinking how am I going to be able to do things with two small babies? what if they both start crying? how do I feed two babies at the same time? so much was going through my head but again I adapted and I am able to do all these things and more by myself if I have to. The good thing is when the kids are home I am able to tell them to watch the babies for me, carry them when they cry or even feed them so I can get on with other things. This is when I know God knew what he was doing when he blessed us with the twins.

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ITS NOT HARD 

When I found out we were having twins I think I panicked inside, no one knew I was able to keep it to myself. All I kept thinking is how am I going to be able to do school runs, cook dinner, clean my house, get out of the house, get downstairs as we live in a 2 storey flat with no lift, get the pram downstairs ( this takes a group effort)……… I really  was worried and didn’t think I would be able to cope with everything but somehow everything slot into place.

I have been back to school runs for about two months now and we have a good routine in place and no one is late for school or work, I am able to carry the twins in their car seats to the car though it can be tricky at times as the corridors are a bit narrow. The pram situation is still the same as some one still needs to stay with the babies as I take the pram down so I only do that when the kids or my partner are home.

I am a pro at setting up the pram too which looked so huge when we first got it but now it looks kinda small lol.

PEOPLE WILL STARE

This is one thing that getting used to slowly. When we are out we get a lot of looks or the twins and their pram get a lot of looks, sometimes people actually stop us to have a look and a chat which is nice when your not in a rush, others just stare which actually gets on my nerves, others want to touch them and have a cuddle which I find uncomfortable and I don’t like it ( hence why I leave the hood on), others give you a little smile.

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I know its a miracle and an amazing thing to have twins and I get why people are stunned by them and we count our blessings that they are healthy and striving but one thing that I feel I need to be smart mouthed about is when people come up to us and say things like double trouble, unlucky you! ( the unlucky comment wasn’t to me but a friend), why would some one feel the right to tell a mother that? people sometimes speak without thinking how it will sound or make the other person feel.

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With all the above I would not change anything about my family situation, we are put in situations knowing we can handle them and we do. We just have to get over the inital shock and get on with it and before you know it you begin to wonder what the worry and fuss was about.

 

Love Me x

“SOMETIMES MIRACLES COME IN PAIRS”

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Recently I have began to become confident with going out with the twins and not panic. When i first had them I was so scared and nervous about how I would cope being by myself with them and what I would do if they needed feeding and am alone. Since going back to doing school runs I have created a routine which work for me when am by myself without any help.

Since their last feed before I get up to get ready for the school runs is at around 4ish I take with me a feed for them which I give them around 9 once I drop my son off, once I am done I try and get home ASAP! as they tend to want to be held (especially the boy) after their feed.

I have also mastered putting together the pram which also gave me anxiety in the beginning because at the time it looked so massive and I was so overwhelmed with it but as times gone by and I have put them in and set it up it does not look that big anymore. Today someone said to me I should put a sign on the pram saying long vehicle coming through hahaha which I found kinda funny.

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Now if you look at my pram its not the usual or common one up and one down. I did not want the one up and one down because to me it was not that spacious for the babies, I also though the baby at the bottom would have felt the cold and they were too close to the ground for my liking. I also did not like that the babies could not see each other to interact so luckily we found this pram called ABC ZOOM. I really love this pram although putting the bassinets on was a bit tricky nut we mastered it in the end. The only complaint I have about this pram is the car seats fitting on, it is only compatible with about three different types of car seats which don’t come cheap and then you have to buy the adapters to connect the car seats and the pram so that just too much for me and also my friend had bought me cars seats as presents so now we leave the car seats in the car and transfer the twins into the bassinets when we are out.

Overall I feel I have mastered going out with me and am confident enough to do it by myself at this stage though I don’t know when they start moving around and walking how that will be lol but am sure we will master that stage too.

Love Me x

“MOTHERHOOD IS UNSELFISHNESS”

| forevermabss

So am sat here at 1.30 at night I should be sleeping but just had a bath and hubby is getting me a cuppa before I go bed and the twins moved and just turned and looked at them for a while and I felt a sense of amazement, joy, grateful all types of emotions.

For me to have 4 babies better yet carry twins! is just something I never thought I could do or manage. Being able to carry twins is only possible by Gods grace because humans are not meant to carry more than one baby at a time, its not how our bodies were made.

I used to see parents with 4 or more children and I would wonder how they manage with all those children but I have found out that its doable and manageable and its beautiful.

So to all mothers out there, honey you are an amazing super woman!

Love Me x

ASTHMA!

| forevermabss

Good morning guys hope you are all having a brill start to Monday. Those who watch my vlogs and read my blogs know that my son had some breathing difficulties a few weeks ago and I had to take him to hospital. So following the hospital visit I had to take him to the doctors to do a follow up and they gave him a pick flow ( to check how strong his breathing is) and pump if his breathing plays up again and we were told that he should use this for the next two weeks and to write down the results of the before and after of using the pick flow and pump.

We did this for two weeks and took the results back to the doctors and today I got a call form the doctors saying he has Asthma!! I was like what? how? out of the blue?. Its something I did not think would come out of the results as his been fine since the hospital visit and he had a football match this Saturday gone and he was fine.

So now I have to tell him and explain to him what that means and to make sure he don’t panic about it because when he had the first breathing issue I think he began to panic ( which is understandable) that he could not breath but h was fine. I have read up on Asthma and apparently some kids grow out of it and I hope he does too.

Moral of the story, parenthood can be scary! and difficult but our parents done it in harder timeS so with a strong support system, we can do it too.

Love Me X

SHOULD I WORK OR BE A STAY AT HOME MUM??

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So since before I finished university I have been trying to work out how I can work as well as be there for children. The career I want to do is to do with planning and running events and since this kind of job includes long hours and weekends too, I have been finding it difficult to see how I can make it work. So with this in mind I have been trying to find a job which I can do around my children.

One of the jobs I have been looking at is working in a school as the holidays would be the same as well as finishing times. The issue with this is that such jobs are not many and they ask that you have experience working in an administration background or that you have worked in a school before which I haven’t.

So my dilemma is should I follow my dream job or should I just get a job which works around my children? this is one of the major issues we as parents or mothers face when it comes to working, especially in holidays when kids are off for weeks and  childcare costs are ridiculously expensive!.

So my job search and dilemma continues but am sure it will work out.

Moral of the story, we as parents cant always do what we want or follow our dreams. Once we have children we have to focus on them.

What are your views guys? and if your a working parent/parents how do you do it?

Love Me X