WHY IS AGE SHAMING WOMEN STILL A THING?

I really do not understand this age shaming of women, it’s like saying women are the only ones that age but men age too so why aren’t they age shamed?

This happened to me a few years ago while i was at university. After i had my first two kids and they were in full time education i decided it was the right time to go back to university to get my degree in tourism management i was 31 years old at the time. So me and my class mates were flying to Italy for one of our modules and one of my friends how was in her 20’s picked me up from my house to go to the airport and her dad was driving us there so on the way my friends goes to her dad “oh my god dad can you believe she’s got children?” because i look young for my age and he asked how old i was and my friend told him then he proceed to ask me “what am i doing in university?”.

ohhhh guys if we weren’t on the motorway i would have got out of the car because i could not believe this guy who doesn’t know me from nowhere or know my story is telling me i should not be in university and up to now i keep thinking about it like how dare you? are you the one going to pay my tuition fees back? are you my mum? if he wasn’t old or my friend’s dad i could have said something rude.

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Women are judged for everything from, when you should be married, have a child, too old to have a child, too young, why are you at home taking care of your child instead of working, why are you at work and not taking care of your child, it’s just endless bashing of women and it seems we can’t catch a break. it seems like everything we do is watched and judged.

And i think this is why some women choose to never have kids and focus on a career because if you have worked your butt off and your at a level in your career you are happy with then decide to start a family chances are your career might take a knock down when you return all because you decided to start a family, how is this right?.

This is where this saying comes from that “women can’t have it all” but why can’t we? we can’t have it all because we are not supported enough. Most of the time when we have children we are expected to be the ones to stay home and take care of the baby not the other way around though there men that stay home and the partner goes back to work and when it comes’s to promotions men are first in line to get it before a woman why? because its a man’s world whatever that means, the home front is us even though you both were at work the guy comes in and chills while you sort dinner and everything else. I actually think this is where the whole independent woman thing came from because if your not supporting me them am doing it on my own which make me independent but some men don’t like this either because they want us to depend on them.

Even the way we dress is shamed at times, if you wear a short skirt your a hoe, if a guy tries to talk to a woman and she turns him down your a hoe, if you wear trousers your not feminine enough, if you wear a lot of makeup your hiding something and if you have no makeup you don’t take care of yourself! it’s a a lot that we get judged on but we still find ways of breaking down barriers regardless what our age is and i think that is something we have to keep doing and one day things will change.

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So ladies let’s keep making these moves and show the young ladies coming up behind us that they too can do it.

Love Me x

 

4 REASONS WHY BEING AN INFLUENCER IS EXPENSIVE

So being an influencer is something a lot of us are working towards achieving and to also get paid from it and make a living off it. I used to thing oh they must live the high life and to get paid for it? that’s just the icing on the cake. My story is i started out vlogging about my family life not even thinking about being an influencer and then i started to hear the word your an “influencer” which i was like what does that mean? so i went to grandma google and got the meaning of it but i also thought nah i can’t be an influencer i don’t even have that much of a following until i was told that even though you have a small following you are still an influencer because those people are following you, then  found out you can get paid to be an influencer! then the light bulb went off and i started to take my channel, social media and blogging serious.

I then started looking into growing my following and doing a lot of research about being an influencer, how to find the jobs, how to find the companies to work with etc. I also starting seeing in my research that you need to find a niche which to me i found really difficult to scale down as i was passionate about quite a few topic so i chose to stick to being a lifestyle blogger and vlogger.

It’s coming to 2 years since i decided to take this “job” serious and i say “job” because i have not been paid for or done any sponsored work yet so am still working toward that but my Instagram and YouTube following is growing slowly and am happy with that. i am not going to lie i do get discouraged sometimes when my following is so slow and not getting any work and that’s why i took a break from blogging for a while because i had to really see if this is the career i wanted and also to learn more about blogging but its really demotivating and difficult.

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Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Soooooo with that in mind here are my 5 reasons why being an influencer is expensive and time consuming.

1     Research takes a long time

So some people think that blogger know everything they write about and they do not have to do any research, nope! so wrong. We all have to do some research about the topic we are writing about to make sure what we are writing and sharing is legit. Can you imagine how embarrassing and reputation destroying  it would be if you got called out for offering the wrong information? this is why i try do research about what am writing which as i said it can take hours or even days because i got a life outside blogging lol.

2     Keeping up with fashion

In order to keep up with fashion you have to be able to buy the latest trendy clothes  and keep up with the styles. I  for one find it difficult to do this because my money don’t flow like that lol, i have kids to feed and bills to pay so keeping up with the new fashion trends sometimes take a back burner. It’s different though if companies send you clothes to try on this way you don’t have to spend money which makes it so easy to keep up with fashion.

3     You might not get paid

I have heard stories and seen some on Instagram where people say they have worked with companies and done all the work and never got paid!. These people had paid for photo shoots, bought clothes, edited content and then at the company said they had changed their mind! and one other influencer had to chase the company for money they owed them!. This is one thing that scares me about working with companies, the fact that they can decide not to pay you after you have spent money that you might not have had doing the work they asked you to do. It’s just sad and honestly demotivating.

4     Long hours

So once you have done your research it’s time to start writing your blog post and honesty this can take me quite a few hours and it’s even longer because i have to stop in between to sort the babies out. Writing blogs sometimes remind me when i was writing my dissertation which took me so long! i couldn’t wait to finish it. But the difference with this is is i enjoy doing it while my dissertation was even on a topic i did not particularly like. I think this is the point where i think of it as a job because i have to sit there for hours writing it.

Love me X

 

FIVE ESSENTIAL GIFTS ALL NEW MUMS NEED

Becoming a mum is one of the most exciting times in a woman and its not surprise that when we find out we are going to be mothers we go out and start shopping for baby stuff especially clothes. We literally are like dogs off a leach because we want to buy everything that’s cute and adorable, all the clothes, shoes, toys etc all while our partners are worrying about the bank balance lol.

Its like the minute you find out your are pregnant everything that’s to do with babies you need to have them even those small tooth brushes which they don’t need yet, we got to have them lol. Although going on a shopping spree for the baby is well and good there some essentials that new mums need from the get go and these are.

WIPES

Wipes are one of the essentials that new mums need because these babies can really goes though wipes. When they are born they seem to poo almost every hour so there will be lots of wiping going on which mean you needs lot of wipes. So if you have a present list or your wondering what present to get the new mum, get them a box of wipes or two.

MUSLIN CLOTHS

I went through so many of these being that i had twins but these are so needed for burping. sometimes babies throw up and these are the perfect item to use for burping that way they are not sick on you or ruin your outfit. You can also use it as a scent cloth, so if your baby is the clingy type you can put the cloth on you for some time then put it near the baby and they will be able to smell you scent and think you are near them. my babies now use them as a comfort cloths so we are still using them.

NAPPIES

Nappies are on one of the top essentials which go hand in hand with wipes. When they are first born they use a lot of nappies  because they are still getting rid of that green poo but also because they feed a lot so they will have more wet nappies. So if you are wondering what to get the mum as a present, get them nappies which they will appreciate a lot.

BEING THERE FOR THEM 

When we first have a baby we might be nervous about how we are going to cope and how to look after the baby so in these first few weeks or days we will need help from our family and friends. Things like cleaning the house, looking after the baby so the mum can get some sleep, cooking dinner, ironing etc all these things will help ease the mum into motherhood and allow her to enjoy those first few weeks bonding with the baby instead of worrying about chores.

TIME TO SETTLE IN

Having family and friends around you to help is good but when the mother first returns home from hospital she and her close family ( husband, older kids) need some days to settle into their new role as parents,for the siblings to get to bond with their new sibling and to also try and get into some type of routine with the baby. Having a new baby in the house can be exciting and scary at the same time so having that time to get used to the new born before you get visitors round is much needed.

I hope you find this information helpful.

Do you have any essential gifts for new mums? what would you have wanted as a new mum?

Love Me x

WHAT WE MOTHERS EXPECT ON MOTHER’S DAY VS WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS

Being a mum is one of those life roles which your never really taught how to be or be ready for, you just quite frankly wing it everyday and you hope that everything goes well and you don’t lose your mind in the process lol.

When i become a mum i thought “ok i have this little human that i have to think for, keep alive and educate about life, how hard could it be” and boy was i wrong lol.

I was not ready for the amount of stuff babies need!, the sleepless nights ( which i didn’t mind in the beginning as they are just soooo cute and cuddly), the constant worry when they are ill ( i legit stayed away for a few days when they got their first cold as i thought they would not be able to breath), the tantrums in public oh how i wished the floor would open up and swallow me coz the way people look at you like your the worst parent ever.

Carrying and bringing a human being into the world is the most amazing, scariest, nerve racking thing i have ever done in my life but also being a mum is the most fulfilling thing i have ever done in my life.

My first mother’s day i did not know what to expect so i just went with the flow. My hubby bought me a card, a teddy bear (which i still have) and some chocolates which was lovely. As the years have gone on, my babies give me cards which they have made at school but the husband forgets about it half of the time.

So in the perfect world i would love to have a lay in, have breakfast brought to me in bed, have the house to myself and just relax for the day. The reality is that i don’t have a lay in i normally wake up as normal to sort the kids breakfast and if hubby remembers the day then he will make us breakfast and then that’s mother’s day for me.

Though not alot goes on for me on mother’s day i am grateful that i got a chance to be a mum to 4 beautiful, healthy babies and i have a husband who love me and my babies. It’s not always about presents ( though they are nice lol) but more of time spent together. So on that note happy Mother’s day to all you fabulous mamas and enjoy your day.

What do you get up to on mother’s day? How do you other halves celebrate you?

Love Me x

Transitioning from summer to winter: How to still wear your summer clothes in winter

As summer is coming to an end and winter is kicking in we start packing away our short shorts and sandles for bomber jackets and winter boots.

Some people actually go out and buy a whole new wardrobe for winter which can be expensive but you can also wear your summer wardrobe in winter with just a few twicks.

Here are some of the ways you can change up your summer wardrobe for winter.

Summer dress

If you have a summer dress that you would like to wear in winter like the one above you could put in a long sleeve t-shirt to keep your top half warm and wear thick tights and black ankles boots for that cosy, stylish winter look.

Jean skirt

I love wearing jeans skirts in winter because you can style them quite a few ways. With a sweater on top you can add thick tights to this skirt and wear a pair of flat shoes or you could wear knee high boots or thigh high boots with the tights and you ready for a winter day.

T-shirt dress

I love t-shirt dresses because they are really simple but also quite sexy as you show some leg skin. In winter you can add a thick long cardigan with a scarf and wear some knee high boots and tights to keep you warm.

Summer tops

These are easy to accessorie because you just need to layer them up. You can add a blazer on top if your going to work or a cardigan, you can also wear a long sleeve t-shirt inside.

It’s all about layering in winter if you still want to wear your summer clothes and tights and boots are going to be your best friends during the winter season.

I hope this is helpful to you guys.

How do you style your winter wardrobe?

8 tips on how to enjoy Notting Hill Carnival

So Notting Hill carnival is happening this weekend and it’s the biggest street party in Europe so everyone turns up even people fly in just for it so it’s kind of a big deal. There are those who are attending the event for the first time and so they don’t know what to expect or know the area so these tips are to help them out and make sure they have a safe, funfilled time.

1. Wear the right shoes

Ok so I know we girls like to look all cute and fab and we should but at this carnival, leave the heels at home and the sandals, I learnt the hard way. First of all the journey from where the carnival starts to where it finishes is so long! And then you have people stepping all over your feet….. it’s just not worth putting your feet through that pain because trust me those heels will not stay on for long unless your going to take a pair of trainers too then you go girl lol.

2. Plan your journey

If this is your first time you might want to start your journey abit early so you give yourself time to get there as some train station will be closed and also to try and avoid the massive queues at the stations due to the amount of people who will be travelling to the carnival. I would also say not to drive because you will not find parking and you don’t want to leave with parking ticket after having such a good time.

3. Have your essentials

Make sure your have pocket tissues as the loos might run out of it, actually no they WILL run out of it. Don’t forget your money and try to avoid taking your bank cards and just take cash instead as it’s safer and finding a cash machine will be an issue and there will probably be queues of people using them.

Make sure you have a bottle of water to stay hydrated and also apply and take your sunscreen (hopefully the sun is out #Englandweather) and don’t forget to get the carnival route map so you know where your going.

4. Meet in advance

Make sure you meet your friends before the carnival starts because once it begins you will have a hard time finding each other as the flow of the crowd tends to go one way and some of the roads will be closed so going back will be difficult. Also make sure you have you phones with you incase you get separated and need to contact each other.

5. Get a good spot

This is where getting there early will help, if you want to see the parade in it’s full glory the best spot is near the judges. But if you want to get close to the parade and feel the vibe the best place is along the main route.

6. Eat the food

Omg you will be spoilt for choice because the amount of Caribbean food that will be there is going to be crazy. There will be Jerk chicken, rice and peas, patties, salt fish, goat curry…..so go hungry and ready to feast.

7. After parties

There are surely going to be alot of after parties once the carnival is done so if you still up for more check out this site for venues https://www.timeout.com/london/clubs/notting-hill-carnival-warm-up-and-after-parties (NOT SPONSORED)

8. STAY SAFE

And last but not least stay safe!, make sure you stay with your friends as there is safety in numbers, do not consume things you don’t know, stay alert and aware of pickpockets and if you feel worried or unsafe tell a police officers, they will be everywhere so you should not have an problem finding one.

I hope these tips are helpful and I hope you have a brilliant time at the Notting Hill Carnival 2018! Woahhhhh

Love Me x

The Korean morning skincare routine

So there is a new skincare routine that Korean women do every single morning! and this is one I am going to adopt and try out only because it does not sound complicated and it looks simple.

I normally just wash my face with water in the morning and apply my day face cream and may be makeup if I feel like it but I am feeling adventurous now days when it comes to body products so am going to give it a go.

The original routine explained by Vicky Lee in Cosmopolitan.com has 8 steps but the simplified one which am going to do as I don’t have time to do all 8 steps in the morning is 5 steps, These are the steps.

Step 1: wash with water

Wash your face with water to help keep it hydrated as well as remove some of the dirt from the night.

Step 2: tone

In order to balance the skins PH levels you need to apply a toner or your skin can become dry and dehydrated.

Step 3: serum

Concentrated formulas with active ingredients targeting areas like wrinkles, dark spots and dehydration.

Step 4: eye cream

Put a little bit of eye cream under the eye socket and the brow and massage it in as this is the thinnest area which doesn’t product natural oils, its important to keep it protected and hydrated to avoid it getting dry.

Step 5:moisturise with SPF

And lastly apply your daily day cream which preferably should have SPF.

This to me is a perfect morning skin routine, not long, not complicated, you don’t have to wait there for the product to work before washing it off. Definitely up my street and everyone should be able to do it in about 10 minutes.

Do you have a morning routine? What do you think of this routine?

Love Me x

Thank you for 50! Followers

Heyyyy guys I know this might seem small or unimportant to some people but I want to say thank you! to all those that follow my blog.

50 followers may seem small but not to me I don’t even think I have 50 friends lol. I have had my blog for 3 years this year and at one point I stopped posting content because I got de-motivated and disheartened because I was looking at other people’s following growing and mine wasn’t and I did not like it or think people were interested in what I had to say but I came back from having my twin babies more motivates than ever and I am putting in work and it’s paying off.

I am really gratefully for you guys because it tell’s me that my content is good and it’s helpfully to some people out there.

People keep saying that the blogging world is dead or dying but I don’t think it is, it’s just going through changes and am going to be one that sticks with it because I actually love doing it.

I love doing research into different topics and learning new things which am able to pass onto you.

Once again thank you guys for following my blog I really appreciate it, thank you for taking the time to read it and don’t forget to leave me a comment letting me know what you think of the content I produce and you can also share with your family and friends.

Love me x

Essential clothes for British winter

So winter is around the corner which only mean it’s time for those thick layers 😣. I can’t believe how quick summer/holidays have gone but it’s been a good one and I hope winter goes by quickly and it’s not so cold.

UK winter can get bitterly cold and it can also depends where you live, Glasgow, Scotland and County Durham get really cold and so you need the right clothes to survive those chilly months.

Here is a list of the essential items needed for UK winter season.

Warm puffer water proof jacket

When it comes to jackets for winter you need to make sure you get the right one as it might be the one you wear day in day out. The best winter jacket is the puffer jacket preferably the long ones as they cover your whole body and they make you feel all warm and snuggled up. You also need to make sure that the lining is not thin but thick in order to keep you warm.

Layers

This is so essentially in order to survive winter. You have to layer up big time, I don’t mean layer up and look like a giant snowman lol but you have to wear layers to add that extra layer of warmth. For example if your wearing a T-shirt make sure it’s long sleeves and add a jumper on top of it, if your wearing ankle boots wear some thick tights and add leg warmers.

Raincoat or umbrella

British weather is very unpredictable it might start out cold, then sunny, then raining….. so you will need a rain cover or umbrella for those rainy days especially if your jacket is not water proof. Layering up under the raincoat will help keep you warm and dry but if you don’t have a raincoat am umbrella does the same job.

Hat, gloves and scarf

I love a chunky scarf because am able to wrap it around my neck and tuck my chin in it ohhhh its so cosy!. A thick scarf is a must because a thin one will do nothing to keep you warm especially when it’s so cold you feel like it’s cutting you!. I don’t really wear a hat in winter but if it’s snowing I do wear it as I don’t want ice on my hair but if your not used to cold weather then wear the hat.

I hope you found this help. Do you live in a cold country or sunny? How do you survive winter?

Love Me x