Heyyyyyy guys hope you are all well. So first of all being a mum is one of them most rewarding and beautiful thing that can happen to a woman, carrying a human being and giving birth to it is the biggest blessing we woman can ever have. Being a mum can be a lonely time especially in the first year when they are still little. When you first have your baby everyone is visiting you, helping and wanting to carry that tiny, precious human but as time goes by people don’t come round or call as much to check on you, especially if you have friends who don’t have kids yet.
When i had my first born i was leaving in a place where i did not know anyone so i was really lonely and i kept myself indoors most of the time till hubby came home and we would go out for a walk or something. For my second pregnancy we had moved near my family so i had support but i also did not want to feel like burden for them so i decided to try the mother and baby play groups to try and make some new friends as we were still new to this area and boy i was wrong. I felt so alienated that i only managed to go a few times and never went back. When i first walked in i got the smirky smiles from some mums and that’s was it so i found a spot and got some toys for my boy to play with and we were not even their for a an hour and i just wanted to leave. It felt like i was back in secondary school where everyone had their own gang of friends and nobody wanted to know me or be my friend.
I actually tried another group and it was the same and having spoken to some of my friends i found out it wasn’t just me who experienced this kind of behavior. I really don’t know why we women feel the need to put down another woman to feel good about ourselves especially when your a new mum it’s a trying time and need all the help and mum friends you can find.
Since i had the twins i decided i would not go to the mum baby groups because of the experience i had and also because i have 2 babies to watch which will be difficult and over whelming. For example if i wanted to take them to a massage class i would not be able to do it as i only have two hands ans what if they both started crying then everyone would be staring at me. The only time i went to any mum group was when i first went to take the twins to be weighed, i only went a few times and most of the time they cried because they did not want to be naked or cold bless em but there was a health visitor who would take one while i sorted one and she has become a goof friend of mine and because she know the struggle i have with getting them weighed she comes to my house to this day to weigh them which am so grateful for.
I will forever by grateful for these twin babies but it doesn’t mean it’s not difficult. When i go to pick my son from school with them ( this is somewhat the only times i take them out by myself) i get anxious and scared thinking they might both start crying and i won’t be able to cope, sometimes people just stare which used to bother me but i know they are just in awe of me having two babies. I used to talk to my friends at the school gate for about 20 minutes or so but i don’t really do this anymore, i just drop my son off and am back home till pick up. I have actually tried to find twin baby groups in my area but there seems to not be any which is not nice.
I know this time when they are little goes by so fast and am taking it in as much as i can but i wish i knew some twin mums that i can hang out with and not have to be stuck indoors all the time.
Are you a twin or multiple mum? how did you meet other twin mums?
Love Me x